Just. Simply. Be

The craziness and busyness have ended: decison making, prayer and fasting over our future, planning, organising, packing, moving, cleaning, unpacking... All done. Of course we still have lose ends to tie up and much faith needed as we look for God's provision but the actual hard slog of getting here is all over. And I am content. I am finding joyful moments; sunshine on my face and the wide open spaces that I felt God speak to me about in July 2014. Yet, I feel like I am coming 'unstuck'. By this I don't mean I am falling apart. By this I mean, in the lack of me needing to plan, pack and organise, I find myself feeling utterly useless, purposeless and somewhat directionless. Not feelings that I expected to be confronted with this side of our journey. I am a doer by nature. Which makes me efficient and organised -yes- but does not alway endear me to those who are more feelers than doers (read: my wonderful husband). I have been and will continue to be praying that God will show me my purpose in this new life we have chosen. Purpose that goes beyond being wife and helper to Sean, mom and homeschooler to our boys, daughter, sister, friend... But today, for just one moment, I had a thought. I thought that perhaps my very own direction and purpose right now is to just. simply. be.  To let go of the pressure I place on me to do do do and to have something to show for my moments, days and weeks and to just be. To enjoy the blessing of my surroundings, the newness of it all and to simply abide in Him. Although it goes against my natural tendency, and of course I am still a wife, mom, daughter, sister and friend... I am also just me. And the best me I can be is found in me abiding in Him.