Bliksem, this was a year!

 The last time i blogged was in June while away celebrating my 17th wedding anniversary with Dannean. I think i recall back then already feeling very much like the second half of 2024 could only get better... At least from a work / income generation perspective. Afterall, you can't live on the goodwill of others much past the 3 month mark (from past experience), and that had already come and gone...

Well, just to let you know, with much disbelief, gratitude and frustration, I way underestimated the goodwill of others, the patience of Job, and God's purposes! Because I write this post as the sole provider to my family, who has not provided an income since March this year! Which in case you were wondering, is a full 9 months today! Let's just say that Eish is only one of a couple 4 letter words that have crossed my mind over this time😅

Having said so, I could rant on about this challenge for some time, but really, that's neither here nor there. The facts are... I haven't earned, we have survived, and God is still good. I'm just glad no one told me about these facts before the fact, because if you had, I would have told you on the spot to take the facts, and post them to Australia (or some other spot where the sun don't shine). So then, what shall I talk about in trying to honour my biannual June and December blogging commitment?

Something I could do, would be review my 2024 testimonies journal, where I keep record of all the good things God has done in my life over the year... Much of which I must admit thoroughly overshadows and undermines my woeful introductory tale of financial hardship. I mean, how hard can my life really be, having been to Dullstroom, Kruger, the Berg (twice) and just started a 3 week holiday with a JHB-DBN-PE roadtrip visiting friends and family!? And this is just referencing beautiful places and faces. What about the amazing works the Lord has performed in our little start up church, where God does his best work of taking our ugliness and brokenness, and making it beautiful!

But no... Instead of recalling tales that will likely render this post a facebook boast, allow me to tell the whole truth. Which goes more along the lines of a work God does in each one of our lives that transcends our concept of time, and instead I believe, deals with the concept of condition. That is, for me and most mortals I imagine, my sense of timing, and what needs to happen by when, is primarily driven by felt needs (including a fair dose of fear). God's sense of timing however, I believe the Bible teaches, is more process driven, and this by a loving Father who knows the true condition of our hearts, and what it really takes to change them. For those of us familiar with the Bible, just think Israel's journey out from Egypt.

Anyway, to make this a little more personal however, being a self sufficient man flows strongly in my veins. This is pumped around my body by a heart that loves God, but hates not being in control. And control is one of the masks pride wears, because pride believes it knows better than others, even God, and therefore must decide what needs to happen, by when. On this note, the Lord gave me advanced notice that I would not have the answers I wanted to have, to the situations or circumstances i didn't want to be in, in 2024. Sounds like fun hey!

Or if i had to draw a real life comparison, it's a bit like driving in heavy fog... You know that kind of fog where you can only see 30 meters ahead, and you've got your hazard lights on, so no one smashes into you from behind... Scary stuff! In such cases, the destination very quickly becomes much less important than staying alive, and trying to understand or explain the fog away, much less important than actually navigating through it. 2024 has been a year of heavy fog, but by God's grace, I hope we're about to exit it! And when we do, I'm not exactly sure where we're going to find ourselves, but I do (must!) believe, that the views will be worth the anxious prayers and heartfelt tears that have paid for it!

In conclusion, please allow me 4 parting shots on 2024...

1. Chasing a vision has cost many people their lives. I'm not sure if my vision is for this age, or the one to come, but it certainly hasn't cost me my life... Although I have been gifted a friend and partner who sometimes feels it has come very close to costing hers! Dannean Krige, I love you and salute you darling. Thank you for riding this roller-coaster with me, and thank you for trusting the Lord for me in 2024!🎢
2. To all those who have cared for us financially and in gifts through this 9 month "pregnancy"... Not even knowing what it might all be for, or if I had even possibly lost my mind, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. You have been such an encouragement and comfort to us, and we salute you!✊
1. Mom & Dad
2. Nick & Kath
3. Ryan & Shelley
4. Greg & Jacquie
5. Renz & Jo
6. Dalton & Chez
7. Michelle & Gary
8. Richard
9. Angie
10. Duran & Shells
11. Gary & Abby
12. Lydia
13. Nicky
3. To all those who have prayed for us... Thank you! Especially our fellow leaders and family at People of the Way church. God answers your prayers!🙏
4. On a related note, and to end where I started, the job front remains a bit foggy, but something that has been clear in my heart for the past 3 months, has been my desire to farm chickens on the Berry Farm (where we live). This culminated in my finalization of a funding proposal and business plan to that effect, which has managed to raise sufficient interest to merit another months R&D, at which time I will either become a chicken farmer, or something a little more conservative and predictable. Over to you Lord.

(this is not me!)

Thanks for reading!💛 And 2025... We're coming hard for you! ⚔️🛡️✝️

Faith and Fire

In all honesty, I did not write what I am about to share, as a blogpost. I actually shared it in church yesterday (the 8th September 2024) during a time we call "Five minutes of Fire". The thing is, my last blogpost was in August 2022 and as Sean has pointed out (many times over the last two years!) I was way overdue writing onother one. I guess I am sharing this, as not only is it personal to me, but I also hope and trust that someone reading this will be greatly encouraged by what I share.

There is a quote by John Maxwell that says: 

“A faith that can’t be tested, can’t be trusted”. 

Let me say that again: 

“A faith that can’t be tested, can’t be trusted”. 

Faith is an incredibly difficult substance to measure. The Bible says in Matthew 17:20-21 that “if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you”. A mustard seed is tiny; about the size of the back of a pin, and I don’t know about you but I have never managed to get a mountain to move even a millimeter, let alone move from one place to another entirely.

Some reading this may know that 2024 has been a rather challenging year in the Krige household. Sean ended his last paid work season in March this year (so that was his last full salary) and I was convinced that we would just move from one work opportunity to the next with no loss of income. Not so. We are now in September (in case anyone needed reminding) and Sean has yet to earn a salary for a month’s work. Let me also just share that before the 11 months of income that ended in March this year, there was another 5 months of no income!

“A faith that can’t be tested, can’t be trusted.”

I have found, in this season of our lives, so much comfort in the Old Testament book of Daniel. I am sure many of us grew up with the story of Daniel in the Lion’s Den and perhaps even know the story of Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego in Daniel chapter 3. This is where I want to point us to today; because although I started my blogpost talking about my faith, this is not where I want to end it.

For those who do not know the story here is a short summary: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were three Jewish men who were officials in the Babylonian government. When King Nebuchadnezzar ordered all the people to worship a golden statue or be thrown into a fiery furnace, the three men refused to bow down. Despite the threat of death, they remained faithful to their belief in the one true God. In fact their exact words, when challenged by King Nebuchadnezzar, were: “...our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” (Daniel 3:17-18)

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown into the furnace, a furnace that was heated seven times hotter than it was usually heated. And what comes next is what made my heart leap when I read it. Daniel chapter 3 vs 24 and 25, in the New King James version, say:
“Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished; and he rose in haste and spoke, saying to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the midst of the fire?”
They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.”
“Look!” he answered, “I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.”

I have read this story before and I always thought that the fourth being in the fire was an angel. It was only when I read these verses a few months ago, and compared different versions, that I read in the New King James and the King James versions the words: the fourth form is like the Son of God.

Let these words sink in for a bit. The story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego took place 600 years before the birth of Christ and yet here the king sees one like the son of God, in the fire with the three men. Oh friends, let these words give us hope and joy and faith!

“A faith that can’t be tested, can’t be trusted”.

You see, often we think that when we have faith, we won’t end up in the fire in the first place. And sometimes God works with us like this. But not always. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego’s faith still got them thrown into the fire. God could have intervened beforehand, at any time, to prevent this. He could have stopped King Nebuchadnezzar from making the golden statue or from making the decree that everyone had to worship the image. But he didn’t. God could have blinded the eyes of the men who came forward to accuse the 3 Jewish men which resulted in them being brought before the king. But he didn’t. God could have changed King Nebuchadnezzar’s heart and mind and caused him to choose not to throw Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego into the fire in the first place. An angel could have rescued them, an earthquake could have shaken the earth and caused the furnace to drop into an abyss. But none of this happened because a faith that can’t be tested, can’t be trusted. And so instead of rescuing Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego out of the furnace, their faith was fully tested. BUT GOD sent Jesus to stand in the fire with them. There were not three men in the furnace that day, there were four! Jesus was in the fire too.

The singer TobyMac from DC Talk, asks us: Do you suppose that the same God that stood in the furnace with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego is not also standing with you? Your furnace may look different than theirs, but the one alongside you has not changed.

The Krige family furnace looks different to each of yours. But Jesus has not changed. God could have taken us straight from March to April with a paid work opportunity for Sean. But he didn’t. God could have brought work along in May, June, July or August. But he didn’t. God could bring a work opportunity along in September. He hasn’t yet. But we are hopeful and we continue to hold to His goodness, kindness, faithfulness. Knowing that:

“A faith that can’t be tested, can’t be trusted”.

We can only know that our faith is true and real and solid, when it is tested. Sometimes this testing has to take place in a fire like for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, sometimes in deep waters like for Noah and Moses, and sometimes like Daniel, our faith needs to be tested in a den of lions.

But take heart dear friends, because however and wherever this testing takes place for you or I, Jesus is there! He is in the fire, he is in the water, he is in the lion’s den right alongside us.

There is a song that puts so much of what I have shared into words. The song is called Another in the Fire. I pray that whichever furnace you currently find yourself in, you will listen to it, let the words wash over you, let the truth of them go deep into your hearts and rejoice in the truth that you are never ever alone: 

There was another in the fire

Standing next to me

There was another in the waters

Holding back the seas

And should I ever need reminding

Of how I’ve been set free

There is a cross that bears the burden

Where another died for me.

Ready, Steady, Wait!?!?!

6 months down the 2024 line, and things aren't quite as I'd imagined... This time last year I had just taken up a 12 month contract with a Canadian benefactor, with a vision for a Kingdom (church) growth and community development project. In summary, my sweetspot! In reality, a part time vegetable packshed site manager, in Marikana, North West province! 

Make no mistake however, I was provided with an amazing opportunity to learn a whole lot more about an industry that has always inspired but perplexed me... Farming. Furthermore, I was able to continue exploring and investing in something very close to my heart... Being the mentorship, leadership and discipleship (through sports and camping) of youngsters.

Anyway, this contract finished 3 months ago, but provided me with enough insight, and a brand new and grounded vision, for what impactful and sustainable farming, education and discipleship can look like. And so once again, I was presented with an opportunity to review and reevaluate my vision, skills, and opportunities matrix, through Kingdomship...

In so doing, I recrafted a vision of an organisation I'd love to grow and run (it already exists in part), and shared it with my small network of potential partners and investors. Fast forward to today, and I'm writing this post while away celebrating 17 years of glorious (good, bad & ugly) marriage to my darling Dannean. But still no investment (or salary)!

Fortunately however, one of many lessons marriage has taught us, is that it's far more helpful to laugh in the face of fear than cry, and we can do this bravely, mainly because it's not our first white knuckle finances rodeo, and also because we have come to know a perfect love that casts out all fear (of finances) (1 John 4:18)... And just to prove it, in the middle of this work drought of mine, by faith 6 weeks ago, I planned a roadtrip for Tristan to celebrate his 13th birthday (as a rite of passage to manhood), and a 17th wedding anniversary getaway (to the Pilansberg gamepark).

And so how funny and ironic was it, when I took these photos last week, of an almost flat broke dad and husband, fly fishing in Dulstroom and big 5 game spotting in Kruger, not to mention drinking champagne (thanks mom!) with his gorgeous wife! And all this because, there's always money when we need it by faith, but rarely money when we want it for fear!

Or said another way, our Heavenly Father loves us too much to give us everything we want, when we want it... But instead gives us everything we need - in faith - when we need it! The difference is as subtle as it is significant... And these photos, and my bank account, will testify to that!

Anyway, I'll try not to bore you with any more testimonies this past 6 months, other than this one... Which must be our little church turning 1 year old, and suddenly not being so little! Of course I look forward to sharing another big testimony on the job front in my next installation, which if all goes according to my plan, will definitely call for more champagne glasses and lots of belly laughter - in faith!

9 Years in the Making...

I'm not exactly sure why, but my social media engagement levels (which only constitutes facebook anyway) are presently at an all time low. Accordingly, it seems a bit ironic to be sharing my latest blog post here - on social media. Anyway, i suppose we are now a society of ironies, chronies and loonies, so I'll just be one.

I think the second half of 2023 for me is a story of 'being careful what you ask for'. I mean, during my extended 'unemployed' Sabbath earlier in the year, the Lord challenged me to write down exactly what job I wanted. This makes complete sense of course, but in reality, is much easier said than done.

The reason for this, is firstly you have to actually believe that God wants to answer your prayers, secondly that if he doesn't, you won't fall apart, and thirdly that what you're asking for actually lines up with what you believe. This third point of course, is a great irony in much of religion today, but we'll just leave it at that.

So here's some of what Dannean and i wrote down 9 years ago in our 10 year vision and start of our Walkerville Adventure. In particular, farming, schooling & training, and a transformed church, constituted 3 of the last 4 elements making up season 4 (years 6-10) of the vision (ref the graphic below). Interestingly enough, I actually blogged about exactly this 18 months ago, and have included an extract thereof below, in light of where I presently find myself...

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'Lastly, on the work front, my desire to generate an income from something I actually believe in / am passionate about, burns stronger than ever. And so while I remain incredibly grateful for the past 5 years of corporate assessments and reporting, the Lord knows I've paid my independent contractor dues! My heart's desire remains to be doing (full time & paid for) community development in a shape and form that facilitates real transformation. One year into Season 4 of the vision (above), I do wonder where we're going to end up, but for now, the Lord holds those cards, so we'll just carrying on watering the tree (vision), and let him take care of the growth.' (extracted from July 2022 post - Pre-destined for a Post-everything World!)

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I find it pretty amazing, that 18 months after blogging this, I have just concluded the first half of a 12 month contract as a full time community development agent, majoring in education, farming and church planting! If that isn't God, tell me what is? The challenging part of this however, is that its been 9 years in the making... But feels like we're only just getting started!

Truth be told, I am a complete novice in the area of farming, but have been most grateful to U Can Grow (the company I'm currently secondered to) for the opportunity to learn about vege farming, supply and packsheds. From an education & training perspective, Eduship (our private homeschool) continues to work really well for our family, with Izzy (our 8 year old daughter) being the latest edition. And lastly, our 6 month old church plant is up and running, and like any good baby, continues to add much joy, pain and purpose to our lives!

So, other than this, and at the risk of boring you, or trying to prove the reason for my existence on Facebook, I think let me bring this post to a close, just like 2023. May the good Lord continue to bless and keep all of you who know the love and kindness of our Father in heaven. And to those of us still searching, I pray that 2024 will be the year you come to put your trust in the Author of life (Acts 3:15) and sustainer of the universe (Heb. 1:3).

When a Plan Comes Together!

July 2023... Oh wow, where did the past 6 months go!?

To answer that question, and in getting this post going, I'm going to include an excerpt (the closing paragraph) from my last blog post in Dec 2022 for context...

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Lastly, and on a work note, my billing job as I've known for the past 5 years (backend business report generator) is on the way out, and the hoped for replacement (as paid Eduship Dadmaster) is not on the way in... And so, for someone whose currency these past 7 years has primarily been time, there are not many easy replacements to be found. Needless to say, fortunately we have faith on our side, and know (for my eyes have seen) that with the Lord all things are possible!

Of course this is easier said than done, but God's goodness and His promises have never failed us yet, and that is something we have taken to the bank every time the need (not the want) has arisen...

---

And so here we are, 6 months later... No surprises, the Lord delivered! But not before my dear parents provided a 3 month stop gap to see us through Jan to March, and Dannean pulled a rabbit out a hat to get us through April! Needless to say, we headed toward May with little more than a few hopeful job conversations and emails...

That was until my good friend and neighbour told me about a Canadian man that I needed to meet as soon as possible! Bill is his name, and to cut a long story short, my new boss! In a nutshell, much of what I was previously doing pro-bono (kids and discipleship) has become half my new job, and the other half is about supporting / developing small scale farmers through a community packshed deployment programme. This is run by my South African boss, Steve Carver, who is the cofounder of a company called U Can Grow. I should probably add, that all this turned around with enough speed that I earned a May salary! 

Suffice to say, God is never late, but rarely early! I've since been in the job for 2 months, and while I sometimes lose track of the number of balls I'm juggling, praise God none have fallen! Added to this, there is something very providential about earning Canadian dollars at this stage in the Rands lifecycle!

On another note, and also an equally exciting (and surprising) development for us, is the emergence and relocation of our little home church from my good friend's Covid constructed mancave, to a beautiful boutique Hotel on the outskirts of Walkerville! Lapeng Hotel is no stranger to us, as we have used the property many times over the years to access the large hill/small mountain (Perdeberg) just behind it, for prayer purposes. In fact, it is claimed to be the highest point in the highveld, and so offers a tremendous view of, and prayer point for, the surrounding community and beyond...

The venue also offers a near perfect setting for hosting all kinds of community events and celebrations, not least being the opening of a restaurant and coffee shop (in faith), as well as family focused offerings like Friday Night Jols, Sunday picnics, marriage  / parenting courses, and much more! For the more religious at heart, I can liken these developments in our life to that of being a spiritual big wave rider... Faith has brought us a wonderful wave of grace, and the Lord has made it clear that there is only 1 way to surf it...

ps. If all this love, faith and grace stuff sounds like American Pie to you, check this out...

On the note of love, Dannean and I also just celebrated our wedding anniversary, and as any farmer will tell you, very similar principles apply between marriage and farming... That is, don't sow bad seed, don't sow where you have not prepared the lands, and don't bother reaping where you have not sown! Well, by God's grace we are currently reaping the fruit of 16 years of marriage farming, and the crop of friendship, love and respect is abundant!

In conclusion, I really look forward to reviewing these new developments in 6 months time... Because if the past 6 months are anything to go by, the next 6 months should be one epic surf story! Thank you Jesus🙏✝️

God bless.

The Good Life vs The Best Life

2022... An interesting year. Interesting that word interesting. In fact, Dannean and I agreed as recently as last week, that when we feel the other making an unhelpful comment or observation, our response should simply be to say, interesting... This would then act as a caution sign to the other to reconsider their comment, or proceed with increased thought and consideration (it also has the added benefit of being used with much sarcastic humour!)

Coming back to 2022, and on a personal note, this has truly been a 'very interesting' year for us... A year where I have earned very much under budget, and yet a year where we have holidayed in PE, Durban and Cape town! A year where Eduship ran as a trial for our sons with great success, and yet a year where we couldn't get 8 more students to go public in 2023 (we got 3). A year where our little 'startup' church had Easter celebrations for 100 people, but where we had to fight hard to keep just 5 disciples. A year of highs, and a year of hards. 

And while it doesn't all make much sense right now, hang it certainly could be a whole lot worse! And I guess that's half the key to happiness... Remembering you've always got it better than someone else (and in our case, it seems like more than the majority). The key to the other half of happiness for me, is trusting that if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, my best life will have just begun (in heaven / glory). However, before that best life, I am required to live a good life... and that friends, is much easier said than done. Let me explain...

You see I believe there is a great difference between the 'good life', and living the often quoted 'best life'? The good life is lived with a battle mindset... A mindset that causes one to live based on one's values, as evidenced by certain tangible virtues (a value lived). Living one's best life on the other hand, is not lived with a mindset of values, but instead with a mindset of self orientation / preservation (albeit with the best intentions). Sometimes of course they overlap, but in the big decisions, they shouldn't.

But it's how we make our life decisions that remains one of the key elements of building a good life. I have found it very helpful to visually clarify our good (vs best) life, by creating a family coat of arms that includes the values and virtues that underpin and sustain it. (click on the badge for more on this if you're interested)

Anyway, to keep this practical and personal, here are my 2022 'good life' brag items, which I unequivocally subscribe to God's grace...

1. The first being arguably the greatest victory any non single person can have in living a good life... That of having a fun, fruitful and faithful marriage. Dannean remains my greatest earthly asset, whose value to me continues to increase!
   
2. Runner up to this must be us having successfully completed our first year of Eduship - being our homeschool / normal school experiment at the Berry Farm (where we live). If you will, I'll let Connor and Tristan's end of year school portfolios speak for themselves in this regard.
3. Thirdly, I finished another year (now 6 and counting) journeying with a bunch of Christian brothers and fellow disciples of Christ. This requires a level of commitment and dedication to the faith, which I consider one of the greatest privileges and blessings in my life (and which I rarely encounter in broader Christian circles).
   
   
   
   
   
4. And finally, having been able to successfully create and publish 2 online courses, on 2 different subjects, both being very close to my heart, and both many years in the making... (click on either picture if you'd like to view the courses)

But these 4 victories of our attempted good life, did not come easily or cheaply. None of them offered immediate reward or easy satisfaction, and all of them were rooted in our life purpose, vision and mission. And so to borrow the strap line from one of our favourite wine farms in Stellenbosch (Delheim), which we visited last week, 2022 was 'worth the journey'. 

Before I add my musings on 2023, let me add another thought on this idea of the good life. Goodness appears as a fruit of the Spirit in the New Testament of the Bible, written in the Greek (50AD), and translated from “agathosune,” meaning “an uprightness of heart and life”. Then go back another 1000 years, to the wisdom of King Solomon, who taught us to 'Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.' - Proverbs 4:23. Essentially, a good life begins in a good heart, which by definition can only come from and be rooted in God.

On to 2023... And I am reminded of a time in my life when I would seek out a specific word for the year - something that would help provide definition for what I sensed the year ahead would hold. I think this practice had its merits, but good luck in trying to find a word for the year these days! Perhaps instead a string of emojis would be more relevant and applicable in these current times... Here's my first attempt at it; 🙈🍷🙏😅🤐😵‍💫🤪🙉🍷🙏🤮😱🤪😪🙊🍷🙏. Let's just say you need to cover a pretty wide range of negative emotions (obviously including much wine and prayer!) to safely navigate any year since COVID 19 (or in South Africa's case Zuma's kleptocracy from 2009-2018). 2023 of course will be considered many possible things for many different people, but for me, it's primarily another test for the values and virtues I claim to hold dear, and therefore my 25th year since leaving school to live a good life (in an increasingly bad world).

Lastly, and on a work note, my billing job as I've known for the past 5 years (backend business report generator) is on the way out, and the hoped for replacement (as paid Eduship Dadmaster) is not on the way in... And so for someone whose currency these past 7 years has primarily been time, there are not many easy replacements to be found. Needless to say, fortunately we have faith on our side, and know (for my eyes have seen) that with the Lord all things are possible!

Of course this is easier said than done, but God's goodness and His promises have never failed us yet, and that is something we have taken to the bank every time the need (not the want) has arisen. Because as we know, wanting and needing are 2 very different things... The former being the primary substance of the best life, while the latter remains an essential ingredient in the good life. Afterall, the most famous Psalm helpfully reminds us that...

But rest assured, should you put your faith in Jesus, there is a day coming where all that we've ever really wanted, we will have. And that day, will be the best day of the rest of our eternal lives!

Love and blessings, Grace and Glory!

Let's Talk About ADOPTION

Of all the blogposts I have written, the one that got the most reads (1999 to be precise) was The feet that bring good news: Adopting Izabella-Joy.  I find this pretty interesting as when I post about adoption on facebook I find those posts hardly garner any interest. Perhaps it was more to do with Izzy herself, her unique situation and the interest in our family that resulted in many reading the post? Whatever the reason, I am thankful for how it was shared and engaged with.

And here I am again. Another blogpost on adoption (my third, actually, as my first one was Adoption: the Tragedy and Privilege, written before we even knew Izzy would be coming home to us).  If you have read any of my adoption blogposts, if you know me or see my posts on Facebook, then you would hopefully know that I am a huge advocate for adoption and for care of vulnerable women and children. But I am no expert. Having one beautiful, adopted daughter has taught me a lot; but I am still learning every single day and even now (more than ever) have to call on the experts when we- as in Sean and I - don't have the answers.  Adoption is something I passionately believe in with all my heart. Although we have no plans to grow our family further, adoption will always be a space I support, hold for others, speak about, volunteer with and share on.

Let me start by saying that when it comes to carrying children, bearing children or being a parent of any kind, I am super sensitive to the many situations we find ourselves in as women and families. In this post I hope to speak to any familes who may just be sitting on the fence somewhere in terms of growing their family, families (or singles?) who have never considered adoption as an option and / or families (singles) with the means and heart to support those who do advocate for the most vulnerable of vulnerable - the 'lost' children. I want to lay my fears of being 'judgemental' aside and to really go there - ask the questions, prod and poke. And maybe, just maybe, someone reading this will really go there with me; someone will find themselves asking "Why not our family?". If that happens, then as I often say to my family, my job here is done. 

As always, before I even sit to write a post, thoughts swirl around my head and heart on any topic that I am planning to post about. This time has been no exception. My last post was written in April 2019 - 3 years ago. I definitely have less to share about our lives now so when I do share, I sure want to make it count! It is no coincidence that my first post in 3 years would be on adoption. My first 2 posts on adoption were personal, detailed, raw and vulnerable. This time, despite all the thoughts that have swirled (and there have been many), I have deleted most of my first draft and decided to just keep it simple, to stick to covering some thoughts on one main question:

Why Adoption? 

It is God's Plan

As a Christian, one does not have to look any further than this as a reason to adopt or support the cause of adoption. The Bible is full of people who were taken in by adoptive parents - Jesus, Esther, Samuel, Moses. James 1:27 says: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.”  I fully acknowledge that God's perfect design was for children to be in families with their own biological parents; I will fully acknowledge this to our daughter one day when she is old enough to understand it. Wherever possible I will support organisations who support vulnerable mothers. But we live in a fallen world and in this, the Lord's best is that children are adopted into families. 

The Roe vs Wade ruling a short while ago delighted many Christians (me included). But it also got me thinking about how we advocate for the right to life but often on our own terms. We say: Don't abort those babies! and we mean it. But then what happens when these babies are brought into this world? We leave them to other people, organisations, homes to care for (if they are fortunate enough to not end up abandoned and dead). How many of us put our hands up to adopt these children? Where is the church? Where are Christians? Where are we?

The need for adoption in SA is overwhelming

I have shared these stats before on a Facebook post, but here they are again: "Over the past decade, approximately 5.2 million children in the country were orphaned [in South Africa]... About 3,500 children survive abandonment each year according to a study that the Medical Research Council conducted in 2018. The study found that for every child that was alive, at least two were dead. The same research concluded that 65 percent of abandoned children were newborns and 90 percent were under the age of 1". (1)

The numbers quoted above are staggering, overwhelming. But if every family who could adopt did and every family who could support those in the trenches of the foster and adoption world did, the impact would be immeasurable - mostly for the children whose lives seem to count for so little.

I am a big animal lover (our Ridgeback is the dog love of my life) but I am amazed that many more people seem to support (both financially and as advocates) the lost and vulnerable animals of this world as compared to the lost, vulnerable and orphaned children. I don't long to see less animal advocates; just many more vulnerable children advocates. 

It is a beautiful way to grow a family

Sometimes I think to myself that it was easy for us to adopt because it was so strongly on my heart and something I had wanted from before I could remember. But Sean reminded me that this wasn't the same for him. Adoption was not something that he had thought of until that day, in pre-maritial counselling, where I told him that I had always wanted to adopt. So yes, it had always been in me but it was still a choice we had to make. I still cried buckets when the time came to decide on a 3rd biological child or to adopt. Adoption is an unknown, but so is having biological children and from my experience the grace that we have received since adopting far outweighs any uncertainty that we had.

Most fears about adoption are just that, fears

I was reminded the other day, by a friend, that the opposite of faith is NOT fear; the opposite of faith is doubt. We can be fearful and still do many things. Lord knows I have done most big things in my life terrified. It is good to ask the hard questions; before we adopted we had tea with many adoptive parents. I had a whole document typed out with detailed questions including what the hardest thing about adoption had been for each family. It is when we allow those scary questions to linger and fester and stop us moving ahead that we can miss out on the biggest blessings.   

A post written on the 3rd June 2022 on The Maletsatsi Foundation Facebook page captures so perfectly what I feel about this. I can't quote the whole post (go find it and read it in full) but to summarise some of what Tiffini wrote: "How did the fear that a child feels in belonging nowhere, become less scary than the discomfort of adding a child into a space that already exists? Why did it get this way? Where is the village?...

How much tragedy will we need to bear witness to before we feel compelled into action?
What degradation and cruelty will befall our nation before we refuse to allow the rot to continue?
What made us so fearful of losing that we chose not to love?
Will we become so scared of dying that we chose not to live?"

I know that there are many causes and plights out there that are worthy of resources and attention. No doubt some reading this will wonder about the plight of the environment, trafficking victims, cruelty to animals and so on. I am not saying these are not worthy causes. Of course they are! I am simply asking us all to take a step back and truly see what the plight of orphans is in this country. 

What if your family is full with no more capacity for more children through adoption? 
Then how about supporting the many (!!) amazing organisations that care for the most vulnerable of vulnerable? I have provided links below, in a footnote, to the organisations I have personally worked with or know or follow on Social Media.

Four simple points to answer the question: Why Adoption? Four simple thoughts coming from a simple middle aged woman with a desire to make a difference where there is an overwhelming need that is NOT so simple.  And since in the words of Paulo Coelho "[t[he world is changed by [my] example not by [my] opinion", I've tried to make sure that I include myself in everything I have said above.

If you are reading this and would like to know anything at all around adoption, supporting organisations etc please do get in touch. I am always willing to share what I know.

Blessings. 

x 

Footnote:

1. Article - Abandoned Babies in South Africa

2. The Grace Factory - a registered NPO with an unshakeable passion to practically assist moms and babies in need during the first few weeks of motherhood and infancy, with the ultimate aim of placing value and dignity on mothers during one of the most vulnerable times of her life.

3. Oasis Haven -  a registered Child and Youth Care Centre with a mission to break the cycle of vulnerable children by loving them and working to provide family through adoption or in our Family Homes.

4. Maletsatsi Foundation -  a place of safety which serves as an interim resting place for children and a place to call home whilst their cases are finalized.

5. Onthatile Children's Ministries - a non-profit organization that rescues at-risk and abandoned children, providing a safe haven for these children until they can be placed in forever families.  

6. Door of Hope - an organisation that exists to give abandoned children a hope and a future.

7. TLC Ministries -  is a children's home that provides quality attachment based, trauma informed care to best address the pre-existing and/or inutero trauma every child invariably comes with. 

8. Omphile House is a a foster home focusing on children from hard places who are either unadoptable or considered a high-risk adoption.